AirSpeed VW Community Forums
General Forums => Air Speed Lounge => Topic started by: egspot on June 02, 2006, 02:16:38 PM
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] ]]
] ]]
] ]] A crusty old Marine Corps Sergeant Major found himself at
a gala event
] ]]hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no
shortage of
extremely
] ]]young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the
] ]]Sergeant
] ]]Major for conversation.
] ]]
] ]]She said, \"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a
very serious
] ]]man.
] ]]Is something bothering you?\"
] ]]
] ]] \"Negative, ma'am,\" the Sergeant Major said, \"just serious
by nature.\"
] ]]
] ]] The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and
said, \"It
looks
] ]]like you have seen a lot of action.\"
] ]]
] ]]The Sergeant Major's short reply was, \"Yes, ma'am, a lot of
action.\"
] ]]
] ]] The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a
conversation, said,
\"You
] ]]know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy
yourself.\"
] ]]
] ]]The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
] ]]
] ]] Finally, the young l ady said, \"You know, I hope you don't
take this
the
] ]]wrong way but when is the last time you had sex?\"
] ]]
] ]] The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, \"1955.\"
] ]]
] ]]She said, \"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out
and quit
] ]]taking
] ]]everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!\" She
took his hand
] ]]and
] ]]led him to a private room where she proceeded to \"relax\" him
several
] ]]times.
] ]]
] ]] Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his
bare chest
] ]] and
] ]]said, \"Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!\"
] ]]
] ]] The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his
matter-of-fact
] ]]voice, \"I hope not, it's only 2130 now.\"
] ]]
] ]] I LOVE THAT MILITARY TIME !
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OB-GYN/MECHANIC
]]
]]
]]
]] A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice
]] insurance and was on the
]] verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another
]] career where skillful hands
]] would be beneficial, he decided to change careers
]] and become a mechanic. He
]] found out from the local technical college what was
]] involved, signed up for
]] evening classes, attended diligently and learned all
]] he could.
]]
]]
]] When the time for the practical exam approached, the
]] gynecologist prepared
]] carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with
]] tremendous skill.
]]
]]
]] When the results came back, he was surprised to find
]] that he had obtained a
]] score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the
]] instructor, saying \"I don't
]] want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding
]] result, but I wondered if
]] there had been an error which needed adjusting.\"
]]
]]
]] The instructor said, \"During the exam, you took the
]] engine apart perfectly,
]] which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the
]] engine back together
]] again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the
]] mark.
]]
]]
]] The instructor went on to say, \"I gave you an extra
]] 50% because you did all
]] of it through the muffler.\"